4 haziran 2015 the guardian'ın erdoğan yazısı

  • bir makaleden cok parodiyi andiran yazi.

    --- spoiler ---

    name: recep tayyip erdoğan.

    age: 61.

    appearance: for legal reasons, it’s best to describe his appearance as “someone who definitely doesn’t own any golden toilets”.

    that’s it? this is the worst game of guess who ever. this is about recep tayyip erdoğan, president of turkey.

    right. and he’s famous for not owning any golden toilets? yes. recep tayyip erdoğan definitely does not own any golden toilets. ı really can’t make that clear enough.

    that’s funny, because he looks like the type of man who would probably own at least one golden toilet. don’t say that! you never accuse recep tayyip erdoğan of owning a golden toilet. never!

    why not? because he’ll sue you. at a rally on saturday, opposition leader kemal kiliçdaroğlu implied that erdoğan went to the toilet on a gold-plated seat, and now erdoğan is demanding the equivalent of £24,000 in compensation from him.

    so that he can buy himself a golden toilet? ıs that how much they cost? no! stop saying that! any more of this and we’ll be in deep trouble.

    why? we can stump up £24,000, can’t we? we could do a kickstarter. ıt’s worse than that. we’re also a newspaper. and if there’s one thing that recep tayyip erdoğan hates more than people who accuse him of owning a golden toilet, it’s newspapers.

    how so? a turkish newspaper recently published a video apparently showing turkey’s state intelligence helping to arm syrian rebels, an act it had previously denied. and now erdoğan wants the editor jailed for life for “crimes against the government”.

    yeesh. ıs there anything about him that we can say? well, he’s on record as saying that women and men should not be treated equally because “it goes against the laws of nature” and that ısrael is worse than hitler, so there’s that.

    ı’m starting to think that recep tayyip erdoğan might not be such a great guy. don’t say that. he’s ace! he once threatened to destroy twitter in a show of nationalistic might, for instance.

    well, fair’s fair, ı guess. give him all the golden toilets he needs. stop it!

    do say: “recep tayyip erdoğan does not own any golden toilets.”

    don’t say: “but he wipes his bum on a mink rug. can we say that? no?”

    --- spoiler ---

    vakit yetersizliginden dolayi turkce'ye cevirisini diger yazar arkadaslara birakiyorum ancak benim icin en can alici kismi su olmustur:
    "appearance: for legal reasons, it’s best to describe his appearance as “someone who definitely doesn’t own any golden toilets”."

    bir cumleyle turkiye' nin su anki durumunu ozetlemisler.

    (bkz: british humour)

    debe editi: hic olmeyecek gibi yasayanlara inat, imkani olan herkesin losev'e az da olsa bagis yapmasini rica ediyorum, simdi ya da ne zaman imkaniniz olursa. unutmayin herhangi bir alt limit yok; kredi kartinizla bir lira dahi bagislayabilirsiniz ve bu dusuk miktardaki bagislarinizla o kucucuk hayatlari kurtarabilirsiniz.

    (bkz: one man's trash is another man's treasure)